A Rant...Family life...
My heart hurts.It's a constant struggle and I can never seem to overcome it.
No matter how hard I try, I fail. And things just get worse.
My attitude sucks...the way I am here...at "home" sucks.
I can never get it right and it hurts that I have to keep trying.
I'm worn out from trying.
And all that I get from one of my closest friends is, "Amy, really, way to act 16."
Because shes perfect. She's got it all together. Her family doesn't fight all the time. So that gives her opportunity to look down on me.
I'm trying. I'm really trying.
Another friend said, "He loves you, you know." She was talking about Nate...but I heard it as God.
Sure He loves me, but I feel like I don't deserved to be loved so unconditionally. Who am I that the eyes that see me sin would look on me with love and watch me rise again?? What is man that you are mindful of him?
I feel like a wreck when it comes to my family. I can never get it right. My attempts fail. I have to survive two weeks now, at home, with my family, with no school to run to every morning. Which means I'm going to have to try even harder. Maybe it will be good for me.
God please give me strength. I surrender. I can't do this at all...without you. Our broken home needs your healing. My broken heart needs your healing.
posted by Amy @ 11:14 a.m.
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