Just Look
I was on the worship team at church yesterday. There is this lady in our church who is struggling quite a bit: depression, cancer, etc. My mom has been kind of a light for her recently and she takes her out for coffee and stuff. She (the woman) is just so...sad. And self conscious. All the time. I saw her in the congregation today as I was singing up front and just wanted to make eye contact with her so that I could smile at her and somehow show that she is loved and special and...just get God's love across to her. But, she wouldn't look at me. For like 2 songs aaand the announcements. As I was waiting for her to look I realized something. That is exactly what we do to God so often. He is always trying to just get us to take a minute and at least look at Him. JUST so that he can show us how much he loves us. And how much MORE than I could ever feel for the woman in our congregation. That's all he wants. Just to love on us.
life
Well, one week and two days from now my last year of school starts. Craaazy. The past while has been good. This weekend (Fri-Sun) my mom and I flew to Winnipeg to visit familiy and friends. It was a good time and I'm glad I had the chance to see so many people that I never really get to see. After much chilling with sweet people, a trip to the museum/science place, some shopping, folklorama, many delightful meals with more sweet people, an awesome church service at Faith Covenant on Sun. morning, and some quality time with my mother, we came home last night.This week, I am babysitting for some neighbours Mon.-Fri., 7:45am-5:00pm. It sucks, but oh well. It will be over soon enough and then school starts. Yay!
it is funny how we think we need to get it all together in order to come before God in His perfectness.as if we could make ourselves holy and righteous on our own strength anyway.it is that we don't accept the Good news.well...we don't accept all of it.especially not the part where God desires to lavish His unconditional love on us AS WE ARE.the part where he he wants nothing more than to just love us and let his grace wash over us.God's power is made perfect in our weakness.there is transformation when we come broken before Him.there is power when we repent and surrender...before we have things figured out.so the way I see it; the weaker we are the more God's strength can come in and transform us.thinking about it that way makes me wonder why I'd ever try to hide my weaknesses and fix them before coming before the throne of God....the throne of Grace.is not God's strength far better than my own?i cannot remedy things.but He can. so I guess I'm done trying to pretend that I need to prove my adequacy and that I can take care of things.and just lay it all down.
